LOOKING THROUGH THE PRISM

I have been fascinated by prisms for the last several years. They fascinate me because each viewer can see a different view when peering through a prism. I had the view that it was our imaginative minds and individual perceptions that produced this outcome. However, in my research I found the scientific reason; the programing in our brains sees images in our environment, Pareidolia is the term used to describe this phenomenon.

Pareidolia (/ˌpærɪˈdoʊliə, ˌpɛər-/; also, US: /ˌpɛəraɪ-/) is the tendency for perception to impose a meaningful interpretation on a nebulous stimulus, usually visual, so that one detects an object, pattern, or meaning where there is none. Pareidolia is a type of apophenia.

Pareidolia – Wikipedia       Wikipedia      https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Pareidolia

INTERNAL VS EXTERNAL VIEW OF ONESELF

Which brings me to this month’s topic, our inner perception of oneself is significantly different from how others see or perceive us. And it can be quite a shock when the two collide.

An example:  Last weekend I attended an event, and someone candidly took my picture. When I saw myself in the picture, I was appalled by how I looked. (picture left, woman in purple)

In my mind I looked cool (picture right)

in my hat, more slender and less old than the picture depicted.

CONFRONTING MY INTERNAL VIEW

Now I realize and in my heart of hearts that my outward appearance is not that bad. But when brought face to face with my inward perception, it shocked me.

I downplayed in my mind how heavy I really am, not really a hat person and how I got so old looking.

RESOLUTION OF VIEWS?

My point is that we all at some point in our lives play out this scenario, especially as the older we get. For myself it was my belief that I was strong enough to walk for a length of time without a walker. Faced with the actual truth that I could manage for a short distance, I would tire, and pain would ensue. I do so now with a grimace but realize that it is prudent to do so, especially if I fell down my world would be significantly more problematic.

So, when your loved one’s point out to you:

1_ I am not that old, I can still take care of myself

2_I don’t need to take that medicine

3_I am fine, I do not need help

LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING MENDS BRIDGES

That is the internal view of themselves that promotes that image. This view is not a terrible thing, the internal view keeps us from a hopeless feeling as we see more of our body functions diminish. We need to see and feel we can do the things we used to do. It does become a problem when our loved one will not recognize their need for medical or physical help. With that said please be kind in your reaction or response when your loved one exhibits this internal view of themselves in the face of their actual diminishing capacities.

We can help our loved ones through the winding and confusing times that the final years bring by remembering who and what they were and gently showing with love who they are now. They nurtured you and now it is our turn to nurture and care for them.

Blessings,

CK Brashares